It's the best I can do

Dear Sweet Daughter,

It's been mere hours since two bombs were detonated at the finish line of the Boston marathon. In the past, these events, although always tragic, have never cut so deep. Not because I was personally affected this time, but because I now have you.

The news is now reporting that of the 110 people injured (some children), two died (one an 8-year-old girl). As I watch you sleep, I feel so lucky to have you and I feel so much pain for those who have lost loved ones. I think of how each of those people is somebody's son or daughter. I try to think about what I would do if that were my son or daughter, and my brain shuts down before I can even process it.

When the news broke, I had two immediate reactions: 1) How could I bring you into a world with so much evil? Shooters, and terrorists, and goddamit stubbed toes? and 2) How can I make the world better? What can I do to outshine that evil?

As I absorbed all the images and insta-information reported on by CNN, fed by Generation Tweet, I realized that my first question actually answers my second, Dear Sweet Daughter.

Dear Sweet Daughter, you are the answer. You are my shining good in a world full of evil, and the best thing I can do to make the world a better place is to raise you with love and teach you to be kind.

I can teach you to help others, like those running toward the explosion to help the injured.

I can teach you to be kind, by being an example and being kind to others myself.

I can teach you to respect others, because everyone deserves respect. Everyone.

I can teach you patience, unless it comes to technology, because your Dad will have to teach you patience with technology as I don't have any.

I can always make you a priority, so that you'll know family always comes first and that we'll always be here for you.

I can encourage you to learn, because so much of the hate in the world is bred from ignorance.

I can do the best I can to help raise the next generation to be kind and thoughtful and understanding and forgiving. It won't be perfect, but hopefuly it will be enough so that, by the time you have a daughter, you won't have to write her a letter that starts like this one.

I love you,
Mommy

Renee's Thoughts on Pregnancy

This is the photo my well-meaning husband took of me right before going into the hospital the morning our daughter was born.

I kept thinking that I didn't feel that big...Even though I didn't have the cute basketball belly...Even though she measured 8.5 pound at 36 weeks (and was showing no signs of being ready to come out)...Even though the doctor (jokingly) told me to be ready for a 15-pound baby.

p.s. Never tell a pregnant woman to be ready for a 15-pound baby. I don't care if you're joking.

Looking back, I was really that big. So big that I feel justified not doing anything but sitting around and thinking about how I don't feel that big and all the things I really should be doing.

Which lead me to these. My thoughts on pregnancy. I posted a new one every few days on Facebook and my friends seemed to appreciate them. Now in all fairness, I have no idea how many people blocked me as a result either.

Anyway, I thought I'd compile them into a list and post them here because 1) Facebook really sucks at letting you read old posts and 2) I waste a lot of time rereading the hilarious things I write.

(in no particular order)

If there was a way to stockpile sleep for future use, I would have figured it out in college. Unless, you've discovered how to do this, please don't tell me that I had "better get sleep now."

~
I'm going to make a t-shirt that says: 
Girl
January 18
No, just one baby in there, thanks
Yes, we have a name
No, we're not telling anyone
No, we're not ready
Please don't touch
~
From now on, anything I drop under my desk is staying there until I get back from maternity leave.
~
"Commander" is not an acceptable alternative to "Grandpa.
~
If people ask you if you're having a natural vaginal birth, get their email address and offer to send them the video.
~
The quickest way to freak out a guy in a bar is to walk up to him, rub your belly, and ask "Would you like to buy us a drink?"
~
I don't care if you're the doctor, never tell a woman (pregnant or not) not to worry about how big the baby's getting because "You have the pelvis to handle it."
~
What kind of mother would I like to be? Is "Skinny with a good wine buzz" on the list?"
~
Call me "preggo-saurus" again and you'll be the extinct one.
~
Why is everyone so scared of the birth? That seems like the easy part. It's damaging her to the point where she becomes a stripper, or worse, an Ohio State fan that worries me.
~
People don't appreciate it when you tell them you're having a girl, but what you're really hoping for is a lesbian.
~
Shopping at the liquor store is far more difficult when no one will make eye contact with you.
~
When in the waiting room before touring the hospital maternity ward, surrounded by running, screaming children, don't comment that "If I get a clean shot, I'm tripping the big one." The other pregnant women will judge you.
~
I think it's weird when people ask me if I'm going to breast feed. I'm sure they're just making conversation, but I don't ask you what you and your boobs are doing for the next 6 months.

*Bonus*
(just a few thoughts on motherhood - so far)

I don't mind being thought of as just a pair of boobs, but at least in college it got me free beer.
~
Sure, being a mother is great, but the real joy is being able to eat raw cookie dough again.
~
People keep asking me who she looks like, and I keep telling them, Mr. Burns.

What did I tell ya?

My adorable Mr. Snrub.

One More Time!

So I've tried this before, before, and before.

And each time, although I've really enjoyed it, I've fallen off the blog wagon

(bloggon? blagon?). 

 

I realized that I've made my blogs too specific. The wedding one was awesome when I was planning my wedding and the dairy-free cooking blog was great when I was cooking dairy-free, but once those phases of my life passed, the blogs became irrelevant. Then, as I wanted to talk about new things, I felt as thought I didn't have the outlet...since people who visit a wedding blog probably aren't looking for dairy-free recipes, and so on.

I wanted to share crafts...

and photos (of cats since the internet is seriously devoid)...

and recipes...

and the (mis)adventures of me and my husband as we try not to screw up our new baby...

and the things that keep me up at night... 

 and not care about trying to please an audience other than myself...

I mean, I really love the whole blog thing. I like writing, I love designing the layout, and well, I'm really funny and insightful. :)

So I've decided on two things:

1) I'm going to make a non-theme blog where I can post any awsomeness I want.

and 

2) I'm going to write what I want and not worry about why people come here. So there!

 

Here goes (again).

My first thought: this seemed appropriate.